What do you want to be when you grow up?

For the past several years as I've been working towards my degree, I've struggled with exactly what I want to do when I complete my PhD. Where might I work? What type of work do I hope to do? Where can I make a difference?
These questions have become excruciating over the past few months in particular, especially as I narrow in and focus on the topic of my dissertation. This is the point in my education that will define me as a researcher, an educator, a philosopher. It's a pretty important decision. While I have so many areas of interest (literacy, professional development, technology, leadership), when I narrow this down I'm afraid of what I might leave out.
But at one point, that quiet voice that whispers in the back of my mind became clearer. We all have that voice that resonates quietly within us. It's the voice that is difficult to hear amidst the din of our insane worrying, debating, fretting, and doubt. The one we often choose to ignore.
It was in this moment of clarity that I realized it's not "what" I want to be when I grow up. It's who I want to be right now. Who I want to continue to be in the future. The type of person I would see as my best self.
So, I've created my vision of who I want to be. Starting now.
1. Someone who understands and appreciates the value of people.
2. Someone who prioritizes people over "things" or accomplishments.
3. Someone who steps back to really listen and observe.
4. Someone who is able to problem solve with resiliance.
5. Someone who values the input of others.
6. Someone who is able to contribute her own input and ideas.
7. Someone who is able to speak up for those who are unable to speak up for themselves.

Sure, I still need to narrow down my dissertation topic. This will still define a part of me professionally. But there is comfort in knowing I will still choose how I will define myself every day.

NOT Crazy

This blogpost is in support of my colleagues who serve in the unique role of "coach". Whether a literacy coach, math coach, instructional coach, or other, there are definitely unique demands to your position that require careful consideration. These are the things that you wish someone would have told you about before you signed on the dotted line. Not that it would have kept you from becoming a coach, but it could help to put things into perspective (and help you to say, "Hey, I'm NOT crazy!").

In a recent article by Hunt and Handsfield (2013), the authors examined how literacy coaches negotiate their jobs including looking at issues of power, positioning, and identity. Through a literature review, the authors point to studies in which coaches struggle to implement district mandated curriculum that conflicted with teachers' practical knowledge. Positioning the coach in this way narrows the role of coaches and positions other teachers as deficient. Other coaches negotiate their identities based on their own and others' expectations of the role of coach. Coaches have a political role "as they navigate the 'complicated intersection between power and learning'" (p.52). Even the language a coach uses can position them as an expert or a learning partner.

In this particular study, Hunt and Handsfield (2013) used a constant comparative analysis to examine three small stories and a vignette of coaches enrolled in professional development for literacy coaches. The study took place in a suburb in the Midwestern United States. The district that was studied was implementing partnerships in comprehensive literacy (PCL). Seven literacy coaches were included in the study.

In reading the coaches responses throughout the study, I found many things that parallel what I have observed in my own career. Perhaps my favorite line was, "You have different expectations from different people telling you different things". I'm not sure if this is worse than no one telling you what to do at all?

There are several implications listed by the authors as a result of their research. First, although roles of coaches can and should be outlined, that is not enough for successful coaches and retention of coaches. Instead, "coaching requires complex negotiations of current understandings of the
purposes of institutional spaces, the meanings of professional development, and the
nature of teacher learning". Coaching should be dependent upon individual teacher need and school contexts.

My favorite implication was that coaches must have time for exploring the emotional aspects and challenges of their work. This was a powerful statement, and something I've never been given permission to do as a coach. Meeting with colleagues is a learning time, focused around Eaker, Dufour and DuFour's (2002) four questions (What should students know and be able to do? How will we know if they know it? How do we respond if they do/don't know it?). Of course, this naturally happens when you are problem solving with another coach, but this usually happens on a weekend phone call. Giving coaches permission to express the emotions related to their position can help them to navigate their position in a healthy way.

I also particularly liked the implication that coaches need more than a "tool kit" of "best practices". Giving coaches time to role-play scenarios (I know my colleagues are cringing at that, but hey- I don't make this stuff up...it's in the research!), analyzing audio and video of teachers and coaches at work, and working through case studies together. Also, giving coaches time to analyze their own small stories can be beneficial.

I absolutely love my work as a coach. I am grateful for the staff I work with. I would love to be able to support my coaching colleagues with this information I've just read. To better serve my staff, I need colleagues who can support and be supported by the implications listed above.

Eaker, R., DuFour, R., and DuFour, R. (2002). Getting Started: Reculturing Schools to Become Professional Learning Communities. Bloomington, IN: Solution Tree.
Hunt, C., and Handsfield, L. (2013). The emotional landscapes of literacy coaching: Issues of identity, power, and positioning. Journal of Literacy Research, 45(1), 47-86.

Word Up

What happens when you put together curious educators who have a passion for their work, sprinkle in a couple of questions, and add a platform for sharing? Amazing conversations happen, that's what!

I certainly don't mind speaking in front of an audience when there is information to be shared. But I would much prefer to create situations in which smart, capable people are responsible for the heavy lifting.

Today, our leadership team was posed just a few questions. From this, amazing reflection, questioning, and sharing of classroom practice ensued. The following is a Wordle that represents our conversation:





I can't wait to hear the conversations that will stem from this one. Any time that student learning is put at the center, and caring, imaginative teachers respond, great conversations (and action) will happen!